How to survive Niuagara Falls, Part 1

This blog post has spawned a flashback to when we lived on Stone Boulevard in Tullahoma, Tennessee.  That flashback is a clear cognitive video that is merely seconds long.  It is my favorite video of the mid-sixties’ family life of the Ted Baldwin branch of our family tree.

I will eventually get to the original thought generated by the picture accompanying this blog post.  It is sort of like flying from BNA to almost anywhere; you’ve got to make a stop in Atlanta.

The only time I remember my father reading the newspaper was on Sunday afternoons.  We would come home for church, Mom would put the  roast that had been simmering in the oven since early morning on the table.  As she did her work, one of the three boys would “set the table.” While complaining about it.

The family would sit down, offer a prayer of thanks, then start passing the food around as each of us filled our plates.  Following the meal, we would “clear the table,” moving everything near to or in the sink.  Mom and Dad would then put the leftovers up.  My two brothers and I would rotate in helping to “do the dishes.”  While we did, Dad would get the broom and sweep the kitchen floor.  I don’t think it ever really worked as smoothly as it reads, but that is my memory.  Mom was usually the last to leave the kitchen and join us in the living room, where the Sunday morning newspaper was released from its rubber band and divvied out.

I was only interested in the “Funnies.”  There would be four to six full pages of brightly colored animations covering all sorts of topics.  The pages would be spread out on the floor, and I would study each panel and occasionally read a few.  My older brother took the sports section.  Mom took the “magazine” section.  And dad would take the rest. Page by page, he would work his way through the headlines.

When Jan and I were married, we began the same custom.  The one difference is that it was Jan who scanned the headlines before clipping coupons.  I stayed reading the funnies.

It has been more than two decades since we had a “Sunday Paper.”  Now, I scan the headlines on the internet, and most coupons come electronically.

To end this first post, I will say that the reason Dad worked in the kitchen was more than helping to get a meal on the table sooner.  The kitchen is where Mom was, and Dad wanted to be with her.  They may not have always appeared very compatible, but they always, ALWAYS, were in each other’s business.  Not negatively! But as companions, it is a joint task. They are never bumping against each other’s bubbles. They were in a bubble of their own; they shared a bubble.

That image is probably the most important training I received on how to be a husband.  I did not know how to be a husband who did not include sharing all the domestic tasks of the family.  Jan was more skilled in the indoor domestic arts.  I was more suited to those who  kept the car running, the lights working, and repairs repairing. I also had a stronger stomach, so I handled all the nasties that came with children.

It was natural for me to be in the kitchen if that was where Jan was.  I just wanted to be with her.  I am not one who loves to do domestic chores. But, I have realized a great source of pleasure, contentment, and fulfillment in being with my wife as much as possible.  Not to mention an added bump in matrimonial bliss.

Looking back over my life, I have discovered that “withness” did not originate with my father, but with my Father.  One of the most stabilizing images I have of the Creator is of God “walking in the cool of the day” (Genesis 3:8) with Adam and Eve.   In my visualization of God, this is what God enjoyed doing. 

My desire to be with Jan is something I attribute to God’s example; He desires, He wants, to be with His “images,” people.  Yes, humanity as a whole, but also as individuals.

One more thought, God does not adjust His desire to accommodate our moral or spiritual accessibility, our sinfulness.  But He is willing to adjust our sinfulness to match His desire.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10, CSB)

“And remember that I am always with you until the end of time.” (Matthew 28:1, GW) 

Next week, part 2.