Lighting a Candle in the Wind

I have been a part of an evangelical church all my life. I went to an evangelical seminary, two of them in fact, gaining a degree from both. I have attended evangelism conferences and submitted to lots of evangelism training. I have taught evangelistic methods to my church and led them in evangelistic efforts in our communities.”

Over the years, I have used the same prescribed methods for encouraging my church flock to “win the lost” as was used on me: inspiration, tactics, and shame. My zeal was always turned to choking dust in my mouth as those in the pews no longer responded to pastoral prodding to proliferate the Faith. It was like trying to light a candle in the wind. The spark was bright on the tip of the match but was quickly blown off. When the wick did catch the spark, it struggled to cling to the wick. But, as with the flame on the match, it was soon carried away on the winds of daily living.

I became cynical of those who lead me and numb to their evangelistic challenges. And, the shame and guilt were doubled because I knew I was supposed to love lost people. It was a good day when I finally got honest with God and said, “Lord, I don’t love lost people. I don’t even like to be around them. I’m sorry. What do I do?”

I was surprised by God’s answer, “Fred, I understand. You’re not built to enjoy being with lost people. I know you don’t love lost people. And that’s OK. The truth is I have never asked you to love lost people. I have only asked you to love only me. I’ll love the lost people. Your love for me is the message I want the lost people to see. You love me and grow ever deeper in that love; and I promise you, I will use your love for me to see that the lost people around you have the opportunity to leave their lostness and enter into a new life of “foundness.” “

Of course, that understanding did not come in a single communication but over years of seeking to be transparent and responsive to my Creator. I am still learning it. I have, however, come to appreciate Paul’s words, “Perfect love drives out fear (and shame and guilt).” (Parentheses mine.)

The truth is that as your love for God grows and develops, you will come to love what and who God loves, the way He loves. If I do not see this transformation happening, I need to check the sincerity of my love for God. When I choose to love God, I choose to love myself less. I, and you, only have so much love we can generate in ourselves to work with. When I stretch out my love too thinly, I end up only liking and selecting recipients of my limited and tainted, self-generated love.

I must choose the source of my love. My natural source of love is generated down in the basement of my emotions, how things or people make me feel. There is another source of love, God Himself. The Bible says, “God is love.”

It is impossible to live in the heart of God and not find yourself longing for that which He longs. God is intent on replicating His love in His creation. And to His creation, through every individual who chooses to accept His love-life. His purpose in loving you, or me, is to get His love to the person standing behind you. That is a profound mystery of joy.

God’s love cannot be extinguished by anything or anyone, and in those he ignites, He will be the Keeper of the Flame.

“For Christ’s love compels us, … Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, certain that God is appealing through us. We plead on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:14-20 (HCSB)

Photo – A view of a stone wall northeast of Portland, Or.